Saturday, September 20, 2003

You would think after a year and half of XML and javascript I could figure out how to get my comments box to work right.... I think its time for zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Shedding some light on the past...

To illuminate the future
After a point in time are we not supposed to grow? A very wise friend of mine once said, you have 2 options in life, 1. Growth or 2. Death. Life is evoultion, a series of events that makes us different from next second. So if this is true.... Why do people insist on carrying out redundant self-destructive behaviors?

As I named this Blog its all about me, It was named as a joke, because I often wonder this world saying those exact words. It occured to me tonight that I do a REALLY BAD JOB of COMMUNICATING whats really going on in my head.

I look back over the last year and I figured out of couple or really important things. 1. Life is waaay to short, 2. Things always work out in the end. Another "Life Lesson" I learned is that if you dont surround yourself with people that are positive and foster growth you will end in a bad place in life either lashing out to those your jealous of, or worse yet stuck in life that you think you wanted until you have it. A younger, more vendictive Scot would have gone for the jugular in the past, but this evolution that has taken place affords me the comfort of knowing that I am in better place than my aggressors, and I can only hope that one day they find motivation to do something for themselves that requires a stretch, because when you stretch you grow, and when you grow you evolve, and when you evolve you open yourself to a world of opportunity that is only limited to edge of your imagination.

What grow I had in a mere 330 some odd days... To think of the place I was then and the places that are in store to for me I just thankful to be here and alive, and able to shake the dust off that was threating to choke of my spirit, and leave me leading a life of mediocrity in which my greatest accomplishment would be moving out of my parents basement. Whether they like it or not. I am here. I am alive, and I am doing regardless of what roadblocks in my way, beacause when the day is done, I have to be the one looking in the mirror and answer for my actions.... Can you say the same?

While we are on this subject, thats what really cool about forgivness... you have to first want it for it be valuable. A mark of truly Self-centered person would only forgive someone a for a lesser sin when the Forgiver in question had committed the equivalent of Attempted Murder. Anytime you have to advertise how just, fair, or giving you are probably means that your not.

Today reminded me how I once was shut out in the cold for almost 2 months. I finally got back in, and then there was a half-assed attempted to push me outside again but if failed miserablely, which ironically is funny since I have moved to warmer climates, where the outide is nicer than in, and I get the distinct impression that the old interior is nothing more than an empty space that was once filled with goal to take me down, once I removed myself from the equation the rest fell into place, and I often wonder of about the past, if those sorted torrid affairs were worth it, or if much like the affairs of the past are nothing more than nightmares in which you beg to wake up.