Wow two post such little time.
I cant sleep. This is a first. usually I am so tired my head hits the pillow and I am out. New DVD carousel makes late night movies easier to watch. Choked down two days after last week.. or for you normal people The day after tomarrow. Yikes. The first time I saw I can remeber rooting for the storm.. Actually We did. It was kinda distrubing because One of the Scottish Scientist was also the campaign manager in Primary Colors. Another on my filler movie list, In the DVD realm I found it necessary to buy another addition to my rack... Bringing the total discs upto 158... Not bad for one year... but when you buy them 3 at a crack... What can I say. but YIKES!
Enough of that shit. I say. I wanted to post something happy and there is something. This holiday season came and went I am glad to still be here, While I would rather be in Tremont. It clear whatever is keeping me here has a while longer to cook. I sometimes think Dear ole mum is not the only one I have to support. Its like I go away for a week and reason who really misses me. Not that I am all that important but its good to have a bit of the george bailey thing going on once in a while. It 33oam and because of the foot of snow that fell here, Its as bright as 630am. Which is fucking up sleep shedule I think. either that its all the caffiene I had right before bed... Fuck that... I am not so old that I have to lay off the caffiene more like I just need to take more tylenol pm... or as I have grown to know it benadryl. What to do next... I wonder this weekend is starting to fizzle already. Damnit... I need a weekend of excess. Lots of excess. I so wanted to hang out with Kimmmieeee this weekend, actually holiday week and that never quite materialized. I was really quite touched when I was reading other blogs and noticed that she has a link fo r this page on hers... That made me laugh... I thought this space for for my own tortured soul and have nobody else read it... ITs not like this crap is any good. Its stream of consciencousness thought that means nothing in the grandious scheme of life its more like kindergarten sand box play. I mean I have read her stuff, as well a her friends and to be counted among some more polished well read people suprises me. When I am feeling truly lost I dig up some blue and read about the immortal candle party. and the several bottle of Merlot that were prescribed to Kill the pain. Wow that seems so long ago, and I think how different I am now yet I am still the same in many ways.
Refering to my last post, I have to think that there is something I would never be and that is well read. Not that that is a bad thing I just wish the clutter in my head would straighten itself up as if I could make room to move my files where they need to be. Reading is too much of an orderly discipline. Discipline I see to have in short supply. I was giving serious thought about becoming a writer full time. I think comedy is where I need to be. Or least in radio. I have to do something about this. I had an ephinay (spelling sucks here get used to It) and I decided I could be as funny as any of these hacks in Chicago Radio. I am waay funnier than MANCOW, and well Howard Stern was be retiring soon, I think I could carry that torch... Its just to figure out how 2 get2 there from here. My one link to radio was broken six years ago, I dont think I want to repair it.
I think I need to develop an act... and try an open mic night. I think after I relocate, I am going to have to go take classes at 2nd city. After all if the self involved bitchy Head Case Angela can have her own production company, and star in her own show, then well. So can I, I have much more talent that her, and I just need an outlet this energy, my talents are being wasted, and I feel like I need to do something. An Actor? maybe prolly not though, I loved improv. I unlocked my "tortured" soul into and let my mind run free. Yeah I think thats it... writer, poet, artistian.
Poor GTP... thought he was doing a good job of things. Caught him in another lie... I wonder if he will ever tell me about Him and the Cum Receptacle. I just sent him an Im... this is hunch that must play out. Yikes. I guess I have to know when its over... My head is swimiing... The best thing that Ever happened to me was meeting Joe Martinet. He was a pivot person in my life. without him I would not know many people... too bad his just a distant memory
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
You would think I could manager to post more than I do.... But here goes... After not speaking to my mother for a record of almost 2 months. I had to break radio silence because we were All in Tremont for Christmas. What a mess that was. It didnt feel like Christmas and I drove myself.(I wouldnt want it any other way) and I arrived late on Christmas Eve.
I managed to find a Kmart about an hour from MY HOUSE. Yes I say MY HOUSE because my whiny older brother get offended when I make this declaration like this because he somehow thinks that he is in control, but I digress and thats a story for another post, (or this one depending on time and space allowed.) Anyway I stopped at Kmart to pickup a gift bag and a poker set because I enjoy playing Texas Holdem... I know kinda cliche and I knew on some level the fact we were playing cards in my grandparents old home would get in Patsy's Craw... Talk about back pedeling on her part... she didnt know what to think. But anyway...
I neglected to mention that CD/MP3 player went out in my Saturn so at a gas stop in OHIO, I lost the audio book I was listening too.. and before all your literary types... *Digger Blue* lodge any formal complaints about my strict policy that READING is for losers. I need to explain myself... the drive home always consists of some book, new or old, fantasy fiction, horror something to make that waste of state of Ohio seem like is just like driving up the block instead of an inquisistion or Insurance seminar. Anyway, I purchased this Book, Devil in the White City because the Author was on a talk show I listen to quite frequently, I thought the idea of making a non-fiction book readable and enjoyable intrigued me. The synopsis of the book took the happenings of Chicago and the Columbian Exposistion and linked to the infamous H.H. Holmes... One of the first serial killers... Anyway that digression aside, I set a new record home, that being 10.5 hours. My best to date.
When I finally got back home It was once again good to step through the doors of the place I consider to be home. A bit of a control freak I realized that things I had spent many months arranging were moved, and place in nonsensitcal places. Before I go any furthur I should mention that I was sworn to keep my mouth shut and not start any conflicts. That being said I was welcomed to a spread of food which at best was nasty, and when I went to the fridge it was packed with items that were barely eatable at best. There would be no BBQ meatballs this xmas, just nasty game, and the normal gauntlet that my brother makes us run every year of fish that nobody really wants to eat, but do so as not to offend him. But again a post of his shananagains may have to come later.
My nuclear(Ha Ha HA what a bushism) family was less than thrilled to see me. However my aunts and uncles were so glad that I had returned home. Tremont was so charged with goodness and positive energy and It was apparent that both Patsy and My brother were doing all they could to stop that, I appreciate the fact I always have a plan B. Life is too short and my weeks dont come very often so it became a competition. I guess this is where we pickup the whiniess that is My brother or Sassypants as he as come to know. Naa This post was supposed to be fun. So lets make it that
I suprised my favorite uncle with a new dvd burner. The look of joy in his face when I gave it to him made christmas. It returned his computer back to being his favorite thing in the world. and I think he showed his appreciate more in the action of burning almost 55 movies in the four days I was home so he could use it. Inadventantaly by doing this I angered my brother because I didnt tell him or my mom I was doing this. Shitty I know. but for once I wanted to show my appreciation of the support he offered to me while I lived there. I was even able to order a movie for my aunt who give this really thoughtful gifts but they always seems to be forgotten at her birthday and holidays. So I gave her that and it should arrive soon.
In the week between Xmas and Newyears I ate more than my share of Gas station food. This sounds gross but in reality it was quite good. A chain of Stations in the East Called Sheetz have a MTO kitchen (Made to Order) in which you input your order into a flat panel display. with pics... Its like a kintergardeners' wet dream... sasifies one of a persons greatest needs, HUNGER. and they are 24/7 PA is the land of subs... The greatest is the Chicken Parm from Dimaggios... Best yet they deliver nine miles away to my front door... There was a pizza incident, A battle and the war was decided on that day, but fortunately we dont need to discuss that here. I got my directv debacle sorted out, and it turned out to be faulty hardware. lots of faulty hardware. That being said I got my dose of TLC and I was a happy camper.
I taught my aunt... from here on out "The Card Shark" or "bookie" how to play poker. She kicked my ass as usual. My goal is one day to be in Vegas with her. I think we would make a killing. The whole time my mom sat and commented(those of you who know her, know that she is a pain in the ass) How my grandfather would dissaprove of playing cards in his house. Then quickly retracted when she realized that nobody bought into the same notion. It was amazing how quickly one could get sucked into mind games to slow up the week.
Its time for brown talk. I was able to shit in front of the window looking up at the mountain again, a cool december breeze made me feel so free again... and my spirit was finally quiet after 8 month of restlessness. I dont know what was more pleasurable... the contorted looks my brother or mother would give when I spoke as when I move back as opposed to if I move back... and the quiet whispers to my other aunt of how She doenst get why I would want to return there because "there is nothing here" BAAAA humbug I say. My heart knows where I am happy and that it is where and why it is. again a post for another time.
My trip back was enthralling. Good conversations. Good music. Good Tears over a lost love, (not mine) and the ponderous question of how many times must a heart break?
I managed to find a Kmart about an hour from MY HOUSE. Yes I say MY HOUSE because my whiny older brother get offended when I make this declaration like this because he somehow thinks that he is in control, but I digress and thats a story for another post, (or this one depending on time and space allowed.) Anyway I stopped at Kmart to pickup a gift bag and a poker set because I enjoy playing Texas Holdem... I know kinda cliche and I knew on some level the fact we were playing cards in my grandparents old home would get in Patsy's Craw... Talk about back pedeling on her part... she didnt know what to think. But anyway...
I neglected to mention that CD/MP3 player went out in my Saturn so at a gas stop in OHIO, I lost the audio book I was listening too.. and before all your literary types... *Digger Blue* lodge any formal complaints about my strict policy that READING is for losers. I need to explain myself... the drive home always consists of some book, new or old, fantasy fiction, horror something to make that waste of state of Ohio seem like is just like driving up the block instead of an inquisistion or Insurance seminar. Anyway, I purchased this Book, Devil in the White City because the Author was on a talk show I listen to quite frequently, I thought the idea of making a non-fiction book readable and enjoyable intrigued me. The synopsis of the book took the happenings of Chicago and the Columbian Exposistion and linked to the infamous H.H. Holmes... One of the first serial killers... Anyway that digression aside, I set a new record home, that being 10.5 hours. My best to date.
When I finally got back home It was once again good to step through the doors of the place I consider to be home. A bit of a control freak I realized that things I had spent many months arranging were moved, and place in nonsensitcal places. Before I go any furthur I should mention that I was sworn to keep my mouth shut and not start any conflicts. That being said I was welcomed to a spread of food which at best was nasty, and when I went to the fridge it was packed with items that were barely eatable at best. There would be no BBQ meatballs this xmas, just nasty game, and the normal gauntlet that my brother makes us run every year of fish that nobody really wants to eat, but do so as not to offend him. But again a post of his shananagains may have to come later.
My nuclear(Ha Ha HA what a bushism) family was less than thrilled to see me. However my aunts and uncles were so glad that I had returned home. Tremont was so charged with goodness and positive energy and It was apparent that both Patsy and My brother were doing all they could to stop that, I appreciate the fact I always have a plan B. Life is too short and my weeks dont come very often so it became a competition. I guess this is where we pickup the whiniess that is My brother or Sassypants as he as come to know. Naa This post was supposed to be fun. So lets make it that
I suprised my favorite uncle with a new dvd burner. The look of joy in his face when I gave it to him made christmas. It returned his computer back to being his favorite thing in the world. and I think he showed his appreciate more in the action of burning almost 55 movies in the four days I was home so he could use it. Inadventantaly by doing this I angered my brother because I didnt tell him or my mom I was doing this. Shitty I know. but for once I wanted to show my appreciation of the support he offered to me while I lived there. I was even able to order a movie for my aunt who give this really thoughtful gifts but they always seems to be forgotten at her birthday and holidays. So I gave her that and it should arrive soon.
In the week between Xmas and Newyears I ate more than my share of Gas station food. This sounds gross but in reality it was quite good. A chain of Stations in the East Called Sheetz have a MTO kitchen (Made to Order) in which you input your order into a flat panel display. with pics... Its like a kintergardeners' wet dream... sasifies one of a persons greatest needs, HUNGER. and they are 24/7 PA is the land of subs... The greatest is the Chicken Parm from Dimaggios... Best yet they deliver nine miles away to my front door... There was a pizza incident, A battle and the war was decided on that day, but fortunately we dont need to discuss that here. I got my directv debacle sorted out, and it turned out to be faulty hardware. lots of faulty hardware. That being said I got my dose of TLC and I was a happy camper.
I taught my aunt... from here on out "The Card Shark" or "bookie" how to play poker. She kicked my ass as usual. My goal is one day to be in Vegas with her. I think we would make a killing. The whole time my mom sat and commented(those of you who know her, know that she is a pain in the ass) How my grandfather would dissaprove of playing cards in his house. Then quickly retracted when she realized that nobody bought into the same notion. It was amazing how quickly one could get sucked into mind games to slow up the week.
Its time for brown talk. I was able to shit in front of the window looking up at the mountain again, a cool december breeze made me feel so free again... and my spirit was finally quiet after 8 month of restlessness. I dont know what was more pleasurable... the contorted looks my brother or mother would give when I spoke as when I move back as opposed to if I move back... and the quiet whispers to my other aunt of how She doenst get why I would want to return there because "there is nothing here" BAAAA humbug I say. My heart knows where I am happy and that it is where and why it is. again a post for another time.
My trip back was enthralling. Good conversations. Good music. Good Tears over a lost love, (not mine) and the ponderous question of how many times must a heart break?
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