Early Morning Checkin with the Oracle greeting me Got a pen and paper? Knowing the Oracle she could have been giving me a list of reasons why Feta Cheese is healthy for you, or the list of Fastest Cars she's beaten with Devine, (her Eldorado) or Simply reasons why people or just stupid. STUPID... Well the answer is E none of the above.... she wanted me to hear a quote, from the latestest DEAN KOONTZ book she was reading.(READING IS STILL FOR LOSERS) any the quote,

Sometimes there is no Darker Place than our thoughts: The Moonless Midnight of Our Mind

I had a bit of a chuckle because this is close to my post about Garden State the other night. Anyway.... thought that was to the point... I also found out that I need to be more susurrant in my pontifications of these endeavors while didlgent efforts go unnoticed.

Yet another instance of being correct. I love it.

Okay a co-worker forwarded this to me, and All I could think was who that I know would do something like this:

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words

back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few

people who did....

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go. He said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants andsat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2
days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future,likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

So I challenge this: Who else has real life stories like this?

I just watched a movie that quite possibly summed up how I feel about life. Garden State.
Maybe it was the underlying theme of Death, and dying which in reality is that we are all dying. Beyond the biological sense, We watch our dreams slip into this monochormatic dark inky blackness. And we wonder why we wake up and head for the medicine cabinet to choke down our daily dose of PAXIL, Or Zoloft, or Tadaafil(hehee figure that one out)
I was laying in bed watching this movie, and the electric blanket wasnt helping the fact that I had a chill shake me from the inside. Just like yesterday when I realized I am no longer obligated to fix anyone anymore.
And THAT is such a wierd feeling... but back to Garden State. I have a tendancy to ignore the actors and look right through into the seoul of the peace. I hope its not too late to wake up from this nightmare. Emblazened in my heart are feelings of what is like to be loved, and what it is like to love, Its like a love story that shouldnt never been told, and I sit here in the darkness and I realize that I am crying... I am not exactly sure why or whose tears they are but they feel good on my sore and swollen eyes. It has been so long since these have had a a good cry, not over some movie, but over someone. Myself. I give myself permission to let go for the evening. Realize that I Its okay to be human I can breathe once again. The harder I try to stop these tears the harder they flow. Uncontrolled sobbing is not far off, but neither is laughter, I think it ironic that they are so close to being the same. Back to this post; and back to the Garden State., its really not about New Jersey. Its about the how our lives are like gardens; If you let weeds grow in your garden, it will choke out all that is beautiful in the world, and in order to have beauty there must be rain, and with rain comes with dark clouds... But those clouds... they give way to the sun, and life, and almost limitless love; that love must come from within; because only love found internally d will find a love that will last an eternity.

Hmmmm.... is anybody watching the oscars? I bailed I thought it was a bit trifly. Is that even a word? I thought a better use of the time would be to watch Shaun of the Dead. Good Fucking flick. Its been a while since I saw a really good movie.

I think I am undergoing a bit of cataclysmic emotional shift currently. I no longer do things because I have "to" I do things because I want to. It is a good thing A turning point in my life. 30. and I will get to spend it at home. shhh... this should be good. I think at least the trip is still in the works I dont know if It will happen or not. Worries aside.

I almost frivolously spent 500 bucks today on a laptop. I couldnt do it. It was kinda strange. I could justify buying this machine because I am w/o a computer. currently and I would like to have an electronic home.

Ahh yes I could have bought a lesser machine for a mere 200 bucks, A steal none the less. But not what I wanted.
Now I shop ebay. Hopefully there will be something there... maybe maybe not? What else is going on in the world. It was a good weekend. Lots of Poker, Lots of poop, and lots of stories of growing old. I miss my front porch, and midnight trips to walmart. The sinking walmart. And the truck stop. Truck Stops are cool, Well this 31 year old travel plaza has been in operation as long as I am alive, much like me it took a year off of existence. Anyway the new name of this joint is Gooseberry Farms. Its kinda funny. The owners are former classmates of my mom;s in fact this classmate has the hots for my still to this day..... YIKES.... anyway. I guess I am off to ebay.