This post is here to commmerorate..(remember spelling dunt count) the 70th Post to my blog. YEAAAAAAAA!!!!

After all the brown talk, I want to say that I have set a deadline for myself. If I am not employed within the next 30 days I am returning to PA and being happy. I would have given IL another 90 day chance and I think I must move back. I will miss some people that I have grown very close to, In speaking to the ties that bound me here I am free. Free because this is just not me anymore. I needed to prove myself that. If they are going to be my friends a measly 747 miles would not stop the friendship from occuring. Besides I have always wanted to simulate being white trash, I guess I could move to the South Suburbs, but I think the people in Schyukill county are a much better brand o trash. At least there nobody is fooling themselves into thinking they are something that they are not, I miss my front porch. The smell of Tremont after the rain storm is something else. The positive charged ions in the air and the freshness of the trees... I miss my mountain view, I miss my mountain home. I hope that one day I can return there permanently. Illinois has been kind, it has taught me what I didnt want. It has taught me who I am not. It has taught me that I can reach and not fall, It has taught me a lesson, What the lesson is I am not sure. I would think that the harshness that I came across with this evening remains to be see.

I wish i could find the word explain... I wish her to have all the love that she deserves without being abused. I wish her to find someone to complete her circle, draw on her strengths and feed her ever loving passions. I want her to have the life that was stolen for her, I would willingly give up mine for hers, because she deserves the chances that I have squandereed.

....Rage.... Rage against the dying of the light.

if that fails... change your identity declare a new direction and fall for the next thing that walks through your door..

I am trying to recall a poem that I had written before... I will find it and post it here.... Too bad my old power book was tainted... The well of emotion is dry.


Thanks for commenting on my blog.. your words are like the laxative I needed. Remeber lies make the baby jesuses cry.